Soundwave Sydney 2012

Unusually for a Sunday, I was up at 9am this week for my first big Australian festival. As opposed to English festivals, which tend to be over long weekends in one place, with people camping over, the Aussie festival norm is a one-dayer that tours around the country. This doesn't mean the bill is a light one though: 97 bands were spread over 7/13 stages (depending how you count - most "stages" are actually paired up to enable rapid switchovers between bands, a definite plus point).

Getting into the festival had a few downsides; the queue was vast and I'm sorry to say that we had to cheekily jump it or we would have missed Royal Republic, who were the whole reason we'd arrived so early! More gates guys, come on! This is especially important on a one-day festival, where everybody is arriving on that day rather than already being there camping. Then to make matters worse, it seems the security protocol extends beyond the usual glass bottles, booze and weapons rules: I had to surrender the 3 sausage sandwiches I'd brought with me, and my friend's toilet paper was also confiscated. No time to grieve though, we grabbed a map and headed for Royal Republic's stage.

The map was another slight issue - it neglected to point out the several buildings that housed or blocked several stages. We managed to find our way into the deserted warehouse hosting Stage 5 just a minute before the Royal boys came on. They rocked as hard as ever, although we did worry about singer Adam's increasing skinniness... the boy needs to learn as I did about Dagwood Dogs, the ultimate in Australian festival cuisine: essentially a battered sausage on a stick. I had 2.

After Royal Republic we popped over to see London's Smoking Hearts, who were up against it with only 4 people in the audience ever having heard of them before, but they won the crowd over and topped the set off by the whole band bar drummer clearing the barrier and playing in the audience. Then it was time to check out the main stages, which were inside a stadium. Here's where Soundwave chalks another point up against the UK festivals: seats, both comfortable and enabling a better view of proceedings.

The first band we saw on the main stage was Steel Panther. I was dubious about these guys for some time as they appeared to be mocking the sort of music I love, but I've seen them a few times now and think they're one of the most talented bands out there. Kind of wish they'd ditch the "comedy" aspect though as it still undermines the rockingness of the tunes and the sweet playing a little. Next up was Lostprophets, the Welsh soundtrack to many a Nottingham Rock City club night. Unfortunately the singer was struggling to keep his voice as the set wore on, and they win my prize for "worst onstage moment of the day" with the grating "lalalala" singalong... I've still got a bit of a headache left from that.

I caught Alter Bridge in London a couple of months ago (filming their DVD actually) and their performance in Sydney was strong but Mark Tremonti is still suffering from the inclination to cover all of his [probably impressive] guitar playing with such a ludicrous amount of wah-wah that he might as well be a terrible guitarist. Since I'd seen Alter Bridge recently, and in a better venue, I agreed to miss the end of their set to go and watch You Me At Six, who apparently are big news with the kidz these days. I thought they were pretty weak - like if you were 14 and hadn't heard bands before and these guys were in the year above you at school you'd be impressed. But I'm 28 and grumpy. I became grumpier still when word hit that Slash had joined Alter Bridge onstage. Despite my most valiant efforts to run back to see him, the band had finished before I got there. NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!! At least I've seen him before.

When I was 12 and just starting to learn guitar, the first song I learned to play in a band was Machinehead by Bush (I can still remember my friend talking me through how to play the opening riff: up 2 frets, up 1 fret, up 2 frets). I even had one of their UK tour t-shirts that a friend got me as I was too young to go along. Fast forward a decade and a half and I was finally seeing them live, and better yet: they opened with Machinehead! Overall the band seemed to be lacking a little magic, but Gavin Rossdale pulled out all the stops, heading down to the barriers, rocking out on his knees, and - obviously been hitting the gym in recent years - looking quite like Steven Seagal.

Following Bush and sounding great were Bad Religion. I didn't bother braving the crowds to get too close as I had tickets to see them later in the week headling their own show, or "Sidewave". Another interesting byproduct of the Australian touring festival is that the festival dates typically occur on weekend days, giving bands the week off in between to do press and play their own smaller gigs. This is a great way of giving more to the fans, and presumably easing the financial strain of travelling thousands of miles to play a gig.

Another teenage favourite whose live appearances have until now eluded me are Limp Bizkit. When they played Sydney 11 years ago a girl named Jessica was tragically killed in the crowd, and Fred Durst took the opportunity to honour her this year with a touching speech and giant banner, pitched just right. Fred's juice diet didn't come up. Reflecting on Bizkit guitarist Wes Borland's infamous affection for costumes, it occurred to me that he is now essentially expendable - you could just put someone else a similar size in a costume and face paint and nobody would know. Like Kevin Kline in Dave.

Escaping from the main stadium, the next band I saw was Strung Out. Their set started with such appalling sound that the crowd started throwing missiles at the sound desk, who seemed completely oblivious to the fact that neither guitar was audible at all (amongst a myriad of other sound issues). It was the worst sound I've heard since... well, since Soundgarden at the Sydney Entertainment Centre last month - the southern hemisphere needs better sound engineers! When eventually the sound was sorted, I enjoyed Strung Out, as I did I Am The Avalanche afterwards. I'd checked out IATA online a few weeks back and found their recordings to be generic and uninspiring, but clearly they need a better producer as the live show better portrayed their grunt and character.

With the sun now sunk, it was headliner time. My first ever "proper" gig was System Of A Down at Rock City touring their first album, and over the years I've seen them a few times, growing into a bonafide festival headliner with aplomb. They always seem to be scheduled against other great bands though - last year I missed the first half of their Download set to watch Alice Cooper (well worth it), and this time I missed the second half of their set to go check out Sisters of Mercy, who didn't disappoint when I found them shrouded in smoke in a dark warehouse - exactly where Mr Eldritch belongs!

Overall, a beaut bonzer ripper festival experience, cheers Soundwave!

We Could Be Heroes

In amongst the Christmas Hoopla ( I rate amongst the top 5% on the Grich Scale and can never forgive dear Old Ebeneezer for going Soft on Santa in his dotage) there was some tragic news.

2 Pillars of Great Men cultural and spiritual influence died taking with them the promise of fresh insight into and amusment at what it is to be a Human and more specifically for me how to be a male one.

Christopher Hitchens and Vaclav Havel died within a day of each other both have deeply affected me through what they have written and how they lived their lives. Both men were political animals but with a big fat streak of the poet which made what they had to say more personal and able to stir the senses than any dry academic or career parliamentary nay-sayer. Neither of them lived a vice free life and approached their polite hedonism with a relaxed glee.

I first read about Havel at university, a semester studying socialist states and social revolutions invariably climaxed with the events of 1989. During the Reagan era cold war I grew up less than 20 miles from a US air base in East Anglia and I vividly recall have a very serious, matter of fact with my parents about what would happen should a nuclear war occur. It was an odd feeling as a 7-8 year old trying to understand that living so close to the base meant we would be lucky – we would die instantly. The Russians were evil, hated everything we held dear, were all powerful and would probably cause the end of the world. So it seemed so fantastic that just a decade later I was learning how some very ordinary people doing some very ordinary things had wrestled the ultimate boogey man of my childhood into submission.

The velvet revolution in Czechoslovakia fascinated me because the ordinary people who caused it were artists. Playwrights, poets, novelists. Pennyless, abused, arrested and placed under complete scrutiny by the security services and media in their own country they fought back using the only weapon they had. Truth.

In his essay the Power of the Powerless Havel describes in a beautifull and unassuming way how dissent can bring down a post totalitarian regime. Not by mass demonstrations (although this would come later) but by the simple pleasure of living in truth. If you know that the regime is not working say so. If you know that state produced products are of poor quality don’t buy them. If you know the propagnda to be a lie – don’t repeat it.

I didn’t read his plays until some years after… I’m not a theatrephile but was seeing a girl who was studying the performing arts so reading Havel allowed me to employ the Hitchian trick of “keeping two sets of books”. On the one hand I was being open minded and embracing something that she was passionate about while privately I was revelling in the dull dusty history that she pretended to find attractive in me.

What struck me, particularly in the Vanek plays was that by using humour and absurd irony to merely point at and describe the idiocies of the powerful you could inform more people, more quickly about those idiocies. You could belittle the strong and empower the feeble with laughter provoking words or a barbed witticism far more easily than with hours of rhetoric. I began to become aware of the immense power and pleasure of words as art.

It was this mixture of the profound and the purile that I found again in Hitchen’s writing as well as his television appearences in the US and more lately the set piece theatre (that word again) of the organised debates he was invloved in. My opinion of what he wrote seems a little flat when the internet is awash with eulogies from Salman Rushdie to Richard Dawkins – however the phrase “I couldn’t eat enough to vomit enough” is one that I have cheerfully stolen and will continue to use. It in essence contains the strength of feeling and Hitch’s preparedness to be rude when required as well as highlighting a fresh, playful use of language that he almost always provided. In his Letters to a Young Contrarian he describes and admires an american servicemen who “ratted” on the attrocities conducted by his brothers in arms during the vietnam war. A man who became hated and ostricised for living in truth.

Why are they heroes? For what they’ve done I have to admire them. Havel simply wouldn’t let his art be silenced and learned how to use it to destroy his previous captors. Hitch can’t claim to have rescued a country from an evil despot but by being a leading light in the New Athiesm movment in the US he can say that he at least tried…

Moreover they are my heroes in the way they did these things, it wasn’t what they thought but how they thought. A smile, anecdote and a drink was never far from them (Havel was a bohemian in every sense of the word) and both seemed determined to enjoy these things despite their failing health. While being an unashamed fan boy – their deaths by cancer and lung disease have only strengthened my resolve to not start smoking. However Hitch’s pieces in Vanity Fair describing his travels “from the country of the well across the stark frontier that marks off the land of malady”, never blinked when considering his own role in his untimely demise.

Kind, witty and angry when required both have a little bit of oldschool gentleman rogue about them that I can’t help but find compelling. Not only have they done some trully amazing things they did it with a charm and intellect that I think I’ll struggle to replace. Which is what heroes should be: irreplaceable (especially for a man in his mid-thirties who should know better).

While thinking about this I have been sharing my feelings on heroes with frends and have noticed a distinct gender shift. Men for the most part either have them or can cheerfully recall those thay had when they were younger. Childhood heroes were footballers, graduating to musicians, writers and historical figures later. A hero is the guy who did things you couldn’t, they guy you wanted to be like. Some-one to look upto – ape and admire like King Louie who wants to be like you-ooh.

Of those women that had definite heroes the choices were unexpected. A friend told me with a little embarrasment but meant every word that she was little bit obsessed with Tina Turner and latterly Beyonce. I’m not sure what a nice white middle class english girl wanting to grow up to be a sexually aggressive black american women tells us – but it is certainly a statement.

No-one mentioned the women that I expected, there were no Dianas, Thatchers or Marie Curie (who I recently learned is the only person to have won a Nobel Prize in both Physics and Chemistry) and so I realised that I was again applying my male fan boy criteria.

Most of women I spoke to had a very different attitude for the most part their heroes were people that they knew – Grandparents who were so very kind or other reletives who had dealt with a tradegy. I swung wildly between being slightly underwhelmed to actually being deeply touched by the fact that all these heroes were incredibly real. Empathy with them and a feeling of “I hope I would act in that way when it happens to me” seemed more important than the blokey “if my life were amazing I’d be like you” . I must balance this by sharing perhaps the most moving wedding speech I’ve heard was when a friend who was acting as best man for his brother declared with no embarrasement what-soever that his big brother was his hero, so perhaps it not a gender thing afterall.

I spent christmas with 4 generations of Mackenzie-Naughton women and was relegated along with my dad to fetching and carrying duties. Watching them clearly learn to admire what each had gone through in bringing children into the world while still doing all the practical caring for them I did wonder if there was something in having a hero you could actually talk to.

While I’m waiting to meet mine though, I’ll be the monkey in the corner with a glass of Johnny Walker Black Label…

Zappadan: Being Frank

In part 2 of my contribution to this year's Zappadan I thought I'd talk about, and play a few examples of, the times I've tackled Frank's music. Covering FZ is wrought with danger; how does one balance the musicality, the repertoire and the attitude? I've seen bands try and I've seen bands fail (Dweezil's Zappa Plays Zappa being a notable exception). I've tackled a few in my time, 3 of which are below for your listening pleasure. Sadly missing from the archives (frustratingly I know these are both recorded somewhere!) are a live version of My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (stylistically somewhere between the Mothers version and the G3 version), and both electric and acoustic guitar renderings of What's New In Baltimore.

Willie The Pimp by chris-walls

Treacherous Cretins by chris-walls

Crew S**t by chris-walls

Something that always tickled me was that Frank's unique soloing style, of just playing whatever was on his mind, was incredibly honest, direct, personal and idiosyncratic. Or in other words, Frank was being frank. Inspired by this turn of phrase and by Zappa solos such as Watermelon In Easter Hay and Zoot Allures I've played about with a guitar solo vehicle called "Let Me Be Frank" a few times over the years. Here are two that made it to tape:

Let Me Be Frank by chris-walls

Let Me Be The Revolution, Frank by chris-walls

Music is the best!

Zappadan: Finding Frank

One evening recently I was sitting in my living room in Holloway, North London, listening to some albums by my favourite artist Frank Zappa. I tweeted a passing comment to this effect and was surprised to generate some interest, including a notification that between December 4th (the day the present day composer stopped refusing to die) and December 21st (his birth), the internet would be celebrating Zappadan. For what it's worth then, I thought I'd share some of my personal Zappa experience.

I don't remember the first time I heard of Frank, but I do remember the first time I heard him. Through my early teens (and to this day) I was a big fan of Primus. Reading interviews online, a recurring theme was guitarist Larry LaLonde's love of Frank Zappa. I remember one interview in particular where Ler said something like "every time I play guitar, I'm trying to sound like Frank". Well I loved Ler's unique style and this just piqued my interest. As a young guitar player I was also getting into Steve Vai's Passion and Warfare, and discovered that Vai started his career as "stunt guitarist" for FZ. I picked up the G3 video where Vai, Joe Satriani and Eric Johnson team up for a cover of Frank's "My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama". My favourite band of all time (and I'd argue also the greatest band of all time) was and is Queen, and I read an old interview where Brian May said he was a fan of Frank's. Basically through my early teens Frank's name was becoming increasingly unavoidable, although his music was notably elusive in the public domain.

In September 1999, when I was 15, I went on a week's work experience with a Leicester producer and music called Steve Nutter. Hi Steve! Steve's girlfriend, it turned out, was a massive Zappa fan (pretty much the only type of Zappa fan you'll find), and after hearing me play guitar she insisted (as we Zappaphiles tend to do) that I should check out Frank. So that Friday afternoon we sat down in Steve's living room and put on the Sheik Yerbouti album. My overriding memory of that moment was that I had never (and still haven't) heard anything like it: thick feedback guitar, lush layers of vocals, complex band performances and bluntly eloquent lyrics.

My next encounter with Frank would be around 5 months later, my 16th birthday in February 2000, after a few months of bewildered browsing in the variable and extensive Frank Zappa sections in Leicestershire's record shops. My friend Seth asked what I'd like for my birthday and I asked for the Cheap Thrills CD you could pick up for £2.99. Seth delivered the goods (thanks dude!) and with my friends gathered round in my living room I slipped it into the stereo. Spoken word opener "I Could Be A Star Now" built my anticipation before the 1988 live version of Catholic Girls blew my mind: unfathomable time signature guitars and horn section stabs trading places with obscene crooned jazz.

I was hooked.

missybeemer

Today's blog is the story of the above slice of nonsense from Berkshire-based eBay idiot missybeemer (real name withheld due to decency she doesn't deserve).


Regular readers will know that R-Man and I are no strangers to buying, selling, repairing and indeed rocking used guitars. Sometime in early 2010 I picked up this (my second) Hondo II Les Paul, made in Japan in the 1970s. It arrived grimy and semi-functional, par for the course in such an endeavour. A new set of pickups, strings, and a bit of time with the soldering iron and a damp cloth and a sweet guitar was ready to rock.


In 2011 it became my main gigging guitar, here I am playing it in gigs in July 2011 (just 4 months before it was deemed "in horrible condition"):

Looks horrible doesn't it?


But Chris, I hear you ask, isn't it possible that the "completely worn frets" made it unplayable and sound terrible? Well it's a fair question, as clearly in all my years of guitar playing I have absolutely no concept of what a playable guitar feels like, and with the ample collection of guitars I have to choose from I opted for this clearly worn-out plank from the 1970s instead of my 2010 Telecaster or 2009 Gibson SG out of complete ignorance. Let's listen to a live recording of me playing it in October 2011, just a month before missybeemer passed her questionable judgement:





I'll let y'all be the judge on whether that guitar works.


So anyway, due to my impending move to faraway lands, lamentably I had to cut down the guitar collection; I'd rather they went to be played and loved by someone else than sit in a storage room somewhere. Which is where our friend missybeemer comes in, winning the auction on eBay for a bargain price of £127:



missybeemer:
Hi, is it OK to send my own courier to collect the guitar? It would save me a long drive.
Please let me know the collection address if OK.
Regards


yours truly:
Yep that's fine - the address is [GM HEADQUARTERS LONDON] - Wednesday or Thursday evening is best for me, or over the weekend?


Will you be sending cash with your courier?


Also if you're interested I have a hard case for Les Pauls which I'm going to sell too?


missybeemer:
Hi. I can send the money via PayPal before the guitar is collected. I have a case but could you wrap it in some cardboard so it gets here in one piece?
Regards


yours truly:
Hi, No problem - I'll pop it in a padded gig bag for protection if that's ok with you.


cheers


missybeemer:
Thanks but without some tough protection on the outside (cardboard) it will most likely get damaged in transit. 
Let me know if you can get hold of some cardboard. Just want to avoid potential problems.
I hope this is OK.
Regards


yours truly:
I have some cardboard here, no problem


Notice here dear reader that I'm offering protection appropriate to a guitar. Notice also that resident fusspot missybeemer is footing none of the bill for the "Packaging" part of P&P.


missybeemer:
Any chance for a weekday between 9am and 5pm? I think these are the hours they work. Possible to collect from the work address or something??


yours truly:
It'll be quite awkward as I'll have to lug it in its cardboarded glory on the tube, if they can do 9am I can wait at home for them and get to work late though?


missybeemer:
well, I cant really specify the time but they can collest from a 'safe place' if there is any. would that work?


yours truly:
I'd rather not leave it lying around anywhere! I'll take it to work - let me know the day




So 20 minutes of walking and 20 minutes of tubing later, with a guitar sized cardboard box under my arm:




missybeemer:
Hello. The guitar has just arrived. Unfortunately it's a wreck and I am not talking about transit damage because there isn't any.
There are problems you have not described in your listing like taped cavity at the back, pretty much ended frets, various cracks and damages to the finish of the guitar. 


Basically I can't imagine playing this guitar even if I decided to clean it which I am not prepared to do. There is some jam left on the neck pickup...
I hope we can resolve this without much trouble. Please have it back and refund.
Best regards.




Permit me, friend, to refer you to the photos and recording at the top of this blog.




yours truly:
Hi,


Sorry to hear you're not satisfied with the guitar. Let me address your points:


taped cavity - sorry, honest mistake not mentioning this; there was no backplate on the guitar when I got it so I covered in card and taped down to protect the wiring. It didn't
even occur to me to mention it as being on the back I never see it!


frets - I find no problem with these frets whatsoever? I have been playing this guitar live, in rehearsals, and on record for the best part of 2 years and never had any problem anywhere on the neck


finish - this guitar is over 30 years old; I wouldn't describe any of the finish as "damage" - it's worn as you'd expect any guitar to be that's been played for 3 decades!


jam on the neck pickup - I don't even know what you mean?


So other than the taped cavity, which I do apologise for, and doesn't affect the playability, sound, or look of the guitar at all (being on the back), everything else you've described is what I would describe as well within fair wear and tear for a guitar of this age; I was pretty clear in the description that it's from the 70s. 


If you really feel however that it isn't for you, then I'll accept it back; I've sold a lot of my guitar and amp collection lately and am keen that they all go somewhere where
they'll be played and loved. If you'll organise shipping back to my office (the address I shipped from) then I'll sort you a refund out on PayPal.




JAM ON THE PICKUP?! Weird because I normally only smear honey and maple syrup on my guitars.



missybeemer:
Hi, thanks for replying. I will send the guitar back asap. I would appreciate if you could cover the postage as it feels unfair to pay the delivery again just because the guitar turned out to be misdescribed. 
Despite the disappointment I am happy to leave you positive feedback once we have all this sorted.
Paying the postage will also work out for you money wise as we can mutually withdraw the sale and you will be refunded £12 of ebay fees.
Please confirm you are happy to cover the return postage (£10) and we'll take it from there.
Best regards.


yours truly:
hi


I've never had to do a refund before, do you know if PayPal also refund their fees? If not then I'm out of pocket - if so then how about going halves on the postage? I don't
feel the guitar was misdescribed, though I appreciate you were expecting something different - also I went to the time and trouble of packaging it and lugging it across London to be picked up, and have lost the opportunity of having it relisted or bought by someone else this week (and time is of the essence to me as I'm leaving the country in a month hence the sales!)


I may not get chance to reply again today, but will be on my emails over the weekend,


cheers


missybeemer:
Hi, yes PayPal will refund your fees and I can also make ebay return the £12 by cancelling the transaction. Cover the postage and you have the fees back, the good feedback and a good chance of selling again as the new buyers would not be put off.
You could actually go to interparcel.com and book the courier for £6.99 +VAT if that's eastier. I'm in most of the time so any day is good for collection.
Regards




On reflection I was really being too nice here. But then that night I went to see Stewart Lee at the Leicester Square Theatre and he reignited the anger and indignance that was lacking in my attitude.




yours truly:
Hi,


I've had a think about this overnight and whilst I will let you have a refund if you want, I'm really not happy with incurring any further costs to this; the guitar is in
excellent working order and has no physical defects that are inconsistent with its age, all of which was clear from the listing. You'll not get a better instrument for the
bargain price you paid! There's 6 and a half minutes of evidence here that the guitar is eminently playable: http://greatmen.bandcamp.com/track/hot-meat


If you still want to send it back, please ship to my work address and I'll refund when I receive it,


cheers


missybeemer:
Hi, no worries. My offer was designed to save me money, save you money and conserve your 100% feedback score. Your offer will cost us both extra and clearly is not a win win 
situation but if this is how you want it then so be it. I will sen it back on Monday.
Regards


yours truly:
Ok I will process the cancellation/refund when it arrives back.


It sounds like you're threatening to give me negative feedback because I won't pay for the postage - you should be aware that this falls under Ebay's "feedback extortion" policy http://pages.ebay.co.uk/help/policies/feedback-extortion.html - there's no need for this to turn ugly; I'm being gracious in allowing you a refund, which I'm not obliged to do, to my own inconvenience and opportunity cost.


After missybeemer gave me negative feedback I reported the above to eBay and they agreed.


missybeemer:
Well I think I am being gracious by not opening a claim and not reporting this to ebay. I can take the photos of the guitar and let the ebay team confront them with your description.
As an established seller/buyer I have a direct access to the ebay support team. 
To be hones I could just run this through them and not even address you directly. I hope this shows that I am trying to resolve this in possible easy going manner.
The feedback system is in place to allow users express their opinion about each transaction. 
If I sold an item that is not as described I would apologise and cover all associated costs, but thats just me.
I will not allow this to turn ugly. If you wish I will cover my costs and you will cover yours. Simple as that. I was only trying to be helpful.
Regards




I need to buy a new dictionary, my definition of "helpful" is somewhat archaic it seems.




yours truly:
I think covering our own costs is the only way of doing it, as we seem to be at an impasse of opinion. I've apologised for the oversight on the back cavity (which I don't
believe counts as a "significant" issue), and because of this and the fact I want people to be happy with their purchases , I've agreed to do a refund to my own disadvantage.


I maintain that the guitar is as described (unless something's happened to it since I handed over the package); I've evidenced that it's perfectly playable, and the description is quite clear that it is over 30 years old and Used ("The item may have some signs of cosmetic wear, but is fully operational and functions as intended."). As a guitar player and collector of some years my advice to you in the future is to go into a shop and buy a brand new instrument (for several times the price) if you want something that doesn't have signs of wear and tear (signs that it's been played and loved!).


Have a good weekend


missybeemer:
Hello. THe refund has just arrived. You have not refunded the postage which set me back almost £20 and yet you are requesting the seller's fees to be refunded.
I am sorry but I made my position clear from the very beginning. 
I will refuse the request and leave appropriate feedback.
Best regards.


yours truly:
Hi,


Glad the refund has arrived. I refunded you the full amount of the transaction, and as per our previous emails we agreed to cover our own costs. The seller's fees are a 
transaction between myself and eBay; you're bearing no cost from them, in fact they now represent money that eBay has made from me for NOT selling this item.


As I made clear myself, the guitar was not misdescribed and hence I have no obligation, legally or morally, to refund you the postage - this is the cost you bear for exercising what has effectively been a long distance "try before you buy". Indeed you are unable or unwilling to refund me the cost of packaging, admin, carrying the guitar across London twice and the time lost in reselling this item (note had you not bid it would have sold for only £2 less to someone else, who in all likelihood would not have completely askew
expectations of what a quality vintage guitar for £125 would be). I was under no obligation to issue refunds but do so out of respect for other people and love for my
instruments. Unfortunately the grief I've had from you means I will probably change this outlook in the future. Congratulations, in a simple mouse click whose ramifications
affect you in absolutely no way, you have dealt another blow against civil society.


Finally, thanks for everything: I believe the most valuable commodity today is not gold,  nor platinum, nor oil, nor data, nor Higgs bosons. The most valuable commodity is anecdotes, and you've provided me with anecdotal value that will see me through trips to the pub, office chit-chat, and a healthy blog entry.


Cheers




So there we have it friends. Sellers beware.


As a footnote in case you suspect I may actually just be a complete lying bastard peddling dodgy guitar equipment, here's some of my other recent feedback for guitars and guitar paraphernalia (our good friend missybeemer has good feedback sure, but it's all for selling car parts...) :

Final note: after this big waste of time I now have to go and store it after all as my time to resell has expired. At least it means some time in the future I'll be enjoying strapping it on once again.


Congratulations for reading this far!

Duality

Let's cut to the chase: Great Men are going to be playing 2 shows in London this month and you and all your friends should come for the following reasons:

1. These will be our last shows for quite some time.
2. We're going to play a completely different set list at each show, covering our entire back catalogue between them.
3. You can submit requests for which songs you'd like to hear at each show.
4. At the gigs we'll be selling the last of our Springsteen VS Stallone t-shirts at the bargain basement, holiday season friendly price of £5 each!

Here's the lowdown:

On Thursday November 24th we've been invited by the excellent Motherhood to play at their EP launch at the George Orwell on Essex Road (near Islington and Dalston).

On Wednesday November 30th we're playing at Camden Rock in, err, Camden.

On Thursday December 1st we burrow into our warrens and commence hibernation.

Submit setlist requests on the Facebook events linked above, or on Twitter @Great_Men.

See you soon: bring friends, buy a t-shirt!

Loutallica

Having grown up a big Metallica fan, and also enjoying a choice bit of Lou Reed (Transformer, Velvet Underground), I was bewildered when they announced their collaboration on the Lulu album. When one track was previewed (The View) I was pretty disappointed; it sounded pretty much exactly what you'd expect and fear it to.

But today when they put the whole album up streaming, I popped my headphones on and got stuck in. And you know what, I enjoyed listening to it. And since the rest of the world seems to be jumping immediately on the "this is terrible" bandwagon, I thought I'd stand up (actually I'm sitting down) and give a different view. I'm not evangelising, it isn't my favourite album ever, but I think it deserves a listen and not a narrow-minded rejection. If you've not heard it, head over here and check it out.

The impression I got after the first track was Lou Reed leaving behind the pop tunes we know he's capable of and turning to a sort of Beefheart-lite. Then three tracks in I realised what was foremost in my mind as a reference point, which I was unable to shake off for the remainder of the album, was the excellent God In Three Persons by The Residents.

Musically I've heard a lot of criticism about the lack of great riffs etc - fair enough, but that's not really what this album is about. In fact on headphones I enjoyed some nice textural interplay between the two guitars. I don't expect Metallica to still be angry thrashers 30 years and a bazillion dollars into their career, I'm pleased to hear them trying their hand at something different instead of trying to jump on bandwagons (St Anger) or attempting to recreate former glories (Death Magnetic). I'm all for musicians making music, you don't have to enjoy it as long as they do (I've always said Great Men songs are written for an audience of 2... we're astoundingly successful with that).

So I've rambled a while and in conclusion: if you want classic Metallica dig out Ride The Lightning, Master of Puppets or the black album. If you want classic Lou Reed put on Transformer. If you're willing to step outside your preconceptions, this album deserves a listen. Many Metallica fans won't like it. Many Lou Reed fans won't like it. People who never cared for either might find something to interest them in these artists. I probably won't buy the album, I might never even listen to it again, but I'm glad I gave it the time of day.