Epicurean Dreams

Here at Chrome Towers we’ve grown used to Paul Anthony Ulterior’s (or Honey to his friends) delusion of grandeur. We smiled sweetly at his claim to have circumvented the 2^nd Law of thermo dynamics with a magnet powered car and shuffled nervously away from his all too organised plan for non-masked vigilantism…Lately his Father Dougal like in-ability to discern dreams from reality have taken a truly supernatural twist.

Having been watching watchmen a little often Honey has been regularly dreaming that he is in fact 100 feet tall and made of blue. So regularly he rarely speaks of anything else and is now actually planning what he would do when it really happens. Really… His first act? To eliminate the two largest evils of the world: Religion and Mankind’s ability to end it self through thermo-nuclear destruction.

(although if I got Ally Sheedy as my girlfriend I think its worth the risk).

As a fine anti-theist he was able to support his decision with a Hitchenite booze fuelled moral certainty and cheeky flick of blonde hair. But, countered the assembled hordes of strike team, if you did indeed have the power to banish religion would you not run the danger of merely swapping one god for another albeit bluer one?

Knowing full well that “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” Honey was confident that if he explained the scientific mechanics by which he was able to achieve these fantastic events, he could prevent people worshiping him. He wouldn't be God or Godlike just himself...but 100 feet tall (where would he get a 100ft leather jacket?) . I admire his resolve but can't help but think a combination of humanity's proneness to genuflect and the allure of power would make a leader-follower relationship almost impossible to avoid. He might have to come up with some rules, some impediment to false idols.

This began to remind me of something…something a little Chuck Heston... something a little Exodus 20:1-17.

You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord Honey, am a jealous Honey, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

If possible, an omnipotent, omnipresent Honey explaining his actions through regular testable scientific means would seem to be the last nail in the coffin for God.

Or does it.

Since the enlightenment, God has been increasingly living in the gaps in scientific knowledge and become entirely super natural. If we grant that a big blue god-like being with big blue god-like powers can explain those powers through natural testable laws, then we have to concede that other god-like beings regardless of their colour can also do this. God then stops being entirely super-natural and therefore (ever-so slightly possibly) exists.

We can now believe in the existence of God. As long as my friend is a 100 foot tall, naked, blue man who can do magic. Looking for some decent leather. Which he isn’t. Yet.

Makes as much sense as any other revelation I suppose…