Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Great Men Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch

A marketing overview of the alleged rock group Great Men:

Vocalist: absent
Lyrical content: absent
Drummer: portable and programmable, 150 bpm, 13/4 subdivided 6 and 7
Guitar: noisy
Bass: noisy
Hometown: Beeston, Nottingham, 125 miles north of Shoreditch
Trouser tightness: no visible panty line
Hair products: one of them is bald and the other one has been rationing a 45p tub of Tesco own brand hair gel since February 2010. Great beards though.

For the above reasons we estimate that the market for the new Great Men Live in London EP is approximately equal to the set of people in Great Men. Nevertheless, it is now available to buy online here.

As a member of the aforementioned demographic I was delighted to get my hands on a fresh, hand-printed copy of the new 3-track EP. Here is my internet exclusive first ever review:

The homespun packaging is elegant, and the CD design looks great and gives all the information pertinent to the recordings within. So if like me you enjoy flicking through the small print while spinning the tunes, you'll have to buy 2 copies: one to read and one to listen to.

Recorded live in London in October 2010, track 1 Spectators at an Execution opens with a guitar melody that you'll be whistling at the photocopier at work tomorrow. Sadly after twice round the melody it all goes wrong as the drums get over-eager and the guitar trades melody for dischord. This then gives way to slap funk as played by white men who work in financial services. The track is almost redeemed by a truly catch pop chorus. Unfortunately nobody bothered to put a vocal on it so it's a big waste of time. Squeezing as much nonsense into 3 minutes as possible, a silly little guitar solo rounds off the ingredients for this slice of pop pie.

Track 2 Messerschmitt doesn't know if it's a dance tune or a King Crimson out-take and neither do I. One thing's for sure and that's that Adrian Belew would never have let the fluffed guitar melody at the back end of the track see the light of day. Still that's live recording for you I guess. Duff notes don't stop this being an infectious bit of fun that puts a smile on my face every time.

Lulled into a false sense of brevity by the first two 3-minute wonders, track 3 Lady Cakes doubles the running length of the CD. R-man once asked me what the title of this song meant, but the answer was so boring he told me never to tell it again. Highlights of this track include some standout bass riffs, including some particularly sleazy slides toward the end that to my mind are the closest a bottom end has come to Frankie Howerd. I'm particularly fond of the guitar solo here (so sue me), possibly my favourite Great Men solo. Trivia fun: the demo version of this solo was the first thing I recorded with my SG. This CD is all on my Black Lodge Telecaster in case you're keeping track.

In conclusion then, Great Men Live in London is the most important release of the 21st century so far. Buy 2 copies each for everyone you've ever met.

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